Sergio: So my name is Sergio. I'm here with Roberto ten, Robert ten, on
recorder number five, starting the interview. Okay Roberto, so the first
question I want to ask you is why did your family leave Mexico in the first
place?
Roberto: Okay, well my family leave Mexico…well like I mentioned, we had
some economic issues over there. Plus my mom also, he got separated, my
dad, so she needed to start from zero.
Sergio: At what age did you leave?
Roberto: What age did I leave? I leaved at around three years, three years
old. If I'm not mistaken.
Sergio: Three years old. And what's one of your first memories in the US?
Roberto: My first memories hmm…well, I don't know the place, every time
that I try to picture United States, I picture like the streets, the
places, the cars, everything, like most the streets, clean, I don't know,
clean. That's how I picture the States.
Sergio: Do you have like a memory that really sticks out, that you feel
like this is America? Or this is the United States?
Roberto: Oh well, the houses, the school, the product you know. Like when I
say product, I mean the candies, the Hot Cheetos, and all that. The
burgers, McDonald's, and all that.
Sergio: When your family left, you said your mom separated from your dad?
Roberto: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Sergio: Who else did your family leave behind?
Roberto: In Mexico, right? Well, my mom left behind like most of my family.
Most of my family is in here. Like my mom's grandma, a lot of my uncles,
that it will be uncles or aunts of my mom. How do you say? Well yeah, like
I mentioned most of the family she left here.
Sergio: Was it hard for her?
Roberto: Yeah, of course because my mom had the support of my family. And
well, when she came here in Mexico, yeah well, it's difficult. Like I
mentioned, I think it's difficult when you're in a different country where
you don't know nothing, not even the language, and it's difficult, and
trying to raise three kids.
Sergio: Yeah.
Roberto: Like I mean, she did had support of my grandma, but the
relationship of my mom and my grandma wasn't too good.
Sergio: So when you got to the United States, what do you remember from the
school?
Roberto: The teachers. The teachers, and well the classrooms, the
playground, and... How do you say? Mis compañeros?
Sergio: School? Peers?
Roberto: Yeah.
Sergio: The peers?
Roberto: Yeah that's what I remember there, yeah. And it was good. I liked
the school over there.
Sergio: When you were there, did you always know you were undocumented, or
was there a day that you realized-
Roberto: No. I never knew that I was... never knew, since like when I came
here to Mexico, my dad told me. I thought like we did have you know
documents to be there, but then he told me, "No" like, "You were there
illegal."
Sergio: So what happened when you were there, living in the United States,
you were living with your mom, your siblings. What was your house like?
Roberto: It was apartment, it was a small apartment. I lived in Cali and
L.A. and it was hot. Those temperatures, when it's cold, it gets very cold,
and when it's hot, it gets very hot.
Sergio: Yeah I know, I'm from Pomona, so right there next to...not next to,
but like 30 minutes away from North Hollywood. It gets very hot. From
there, what age did you leave?
Roberto: What age? I leaved like, let’s see, at the age of like…13.
Sergio: You were 13. What was that like for you when you were leaving? Why
did you leave?
Roberto: Well I had issues, you know. In school I was flunking subjects. I
wasn't doing pretty much well in school, I had issues with my mom I used to
argue a lot with her, and addiction problems.
Sergio: Addiction to what?
Roberto: Marijuana, Cannabis, yeah.
Sergio: At 13? Or like before?
Roberto: No like 12, 13, yeah.
Sergio: Well what do you think like made you-?
Roberto: Nah well you know hanging with the big guys you want to feel big,
and just do stupid stuff…Yeah.
Sergio: Who were the big guys?
Roberto: Well some people that, well, I used to hang out in the
neighborhood. Like they were like what? If I was 13 right there, or 12,
those guys were like 15, 16.
Sergio: Did you see them as friends?
Roberto: Huh?
Sergio: Did you see them as like your friends, or?
Roberto: Some of them, yeah. I did have friends in school as well.
Sergio: So what do you think made you like attracted to smoking, or?
Roberto: I don't know, I think problems in my house. It's pretty difficult,
grew up with no... How you say? With father. It's pretty difficult.
Sergio: Yeah, that makes me think a lot about how I grew up, because I also
grew up without a dad, and-
Roberto: And it was pretty [inaudible] because... How do you say you like,
figura paterna?
Sergio: I don't know [crosstalk 00:07:51].
Roberto: Well, I didn't grow up with that. And I started like to look for
that you know… figure with my brother's dad. Yeah.
Sergio: This is your stepdad?
Roberto: My brother's... Yeah, my stepdad.
Sergio: You think he provided that support, or what happened?
Roberto: I don't know, it was like really bad, like trying see that your
little brother has a father and everything, you know. Like he shows him
love and everything, and me on the inside, I was like, "Fuck man, I wish I
can had a dad like that."
Sergio: And this is while you were in the US. Where was your dad?
Roberto: Mexico, working.
Sergio: Did you have contact with him?
Roberto: Yeah.
Sergio: How often would you like talk to him, or?
Roberto: And right now, we talk super great. But when I was in States, he
like what, once a year he used to come.
Sergio: Do you feel like that was enough?
Roberto: No, of course not, that's not enough.
Sergio: So when you left when you were 13, because you were having
problems.
Roberto: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Sergio: You mentioned you didn't know you were undocumented.
Roberto: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Sergio: When did you find out? Was it-
Roberto: Like at what age, or?
Sergio: What age.
Roberto: Well like several years, like when I began living with my dad,
like when I was in finishing high school, like we were just talking about
that and he let me know, like that you were not legal there. We were
supposed to go like to Disneyland, and well we stayed there. We didn't
return to Mexico, just stayed there. We had a place to stay.
Sergio: So before that, did you always think you were a US citizen? Or what
did you think?
Roberto: Well yeah. Well, how can I say? Because like when you're kind of
you know, young, yeah you don't really think of that stuff. But well yeah,
I remember that when I used to go to school, like you got to stand for the
flag, and sing the... It's called-
Sergio: Pledge of Allegiance.
Roberto: Yeah, to the flag of the United States of America. [Laughs]
Sergio: Do you remember how it goes?
Roberto: No, I just remember that part, "Pledge Allegiance to the flag of
the United States of America." And that's that. When I was in elementary,
yeah, lo sabía todo. I used to know it all.
Sergio: And did you feel like it belonged to you? I mean you never thought
you were different, right?
Roberto: Yeah, I guess because I'm white. Because like I mentioned, you
know, I didn't know that I was illegal there. And since I have family that
was born in the States, so I was like I probably born in the States too.
Sergio: So then when you found out, what did that feel like? What was going
through your mind?
Roberto: Oh like, "Damn. For real?" I was like, I don't know, yeah, I
couldn't pictured it, but it makes sense, you know? I think it has like a
long process to be a citizen. And well, I wasn't born in the States, I was
born in Mexico. But as well I knew that when I was more a little bit, when
I came here to Mexico, yeah.
Sergio: You thought you were going to be here just for a little bit and
then go back to the US?
Roberto: For a while, not for a little bit, but I thought I was only going
to be for a while. But when I came here to Mexico, well, I realized that
most of my family, a part of my mom and dad, are here. So it's like, well
if my whole family is here, well, I'm Mexican. But I could have family over
there, but it's like a minor. I mean, it's not like the whole family that I
have here, and the family that I have in the US. The family that I have in
US is only my grandma and like some of my uncles. And I have my whole
family here in Mexico.
Sergio: So you're okay living right here, or?
Roberto: I like it.
Sergio: You weren't sad that you weren't going to be able to go back?
Roberto: I'm sorry?
Sergio: Were you sad that you weren't going to be able to go back?
Roberto: Well yeah, my mom told me that we're not going back to the States.
And well, like I have a younger brother who was born over there as well.
And well, my mom was also having some legal problems with my little
brother, and his father. You can say that that's another reason why we
returned.
Sergio: So she was having legal troubles too, with the other-
Roberto: With my stepbrother, yeah.
Sergio: And he's a US citizen?
Roberto: Yeah.
Sergio: The brother?
Roberto: Yeah.
Sergio: Did he stay over there?
Roberto: No, he's here-
Sergio: He came back?
Roberto: ... yeah.
Sergio: Was it because your stepfather was aggressive, or what kind of
legal troubles?
Roberto: No the... What's it called? Custody, of the child, my brother.
Sergio: Your mom got it?
Roberto: I suppose, yeah.
Sergio: So have you felt welcomed back to Mexico?
Roberto: Yeah, with my family, yeah.
Sergio: How about outside?
Roberto: Outside? Well I don't know, it was kind of different because when
we came back, we came back to Xochimilco. So…we were like in this town,
pueblito, so I went to school over there, in what, high school? No
wait…secundaria, middle school, I'd say. So I don't know it was weird
because like, muchos morenitos y asi, soy y el unico guero... Like the only
white kid, I was, and it was weird.
Sergio: You were the only white kid with green eyes, and did people bully
you for that, or like what?
Roberto: Well yeah, sometimes I got bullied you know. Yeah, ya sabes dos
nicknames, funny ass nicknames I got, [inaudible], and tampoco me dejaba, I
wouldn't let them call me that anymore. I used to get in trouble for that
as well. But like, me too, yo tambien me pasaba delante [I did the same]. I
used to call them also by their nicknames and all that stuff.
Sergio: So how about now? Fast forward to now, how do you feel?
Roberto: I feel pretty good. Thinking how all that has changed, yeah.
Sergio: Do you feel like you want to stay here now?
Roberto: Yeah, well…you know at the beginning it was hard because, like I
mentioned, I think the States, well like since you're in the city you see
everything more cleaner, right? Like I mean in general, like people,
police, schools, houses, streets. And here, well it was different. It was
different. Like you get, how do you say? Te acostumbras ya de algo. How you
can say that?
Sergio: You got used to something?
Roberto: Yeah, you get used to something. So when you are used to something
and then you change to a different environment, well it is kind of hard.
But you adapt yourself at the long time.
Sergio: How do you think the living in the US has shaped who you are?
Roberto: Well, let's see, well, culture I think, yeah. The culture from
over there and the culture from here. I think it makes me have a more open
mind. Yeah, we can see that we're, yeah. It shaped me like to a person that
has his mind open, he's always sees the good and the bad stuff.
Sergio: Do you have anything else that you think you want to say about
being in the US, or being here, that you feel like people should know?
Whether it's a good experience, a bad experience?
Roberto: Well, yeah sure. Like when you get to a country that you don't
know, like trust me it does get hard, it's hard. But you'll get used to it.
Of course, if you have that support, thank God that I had the support of my
family, part of my mom, that helped us out, and move further. But I think
if we never had that support, it'll be very difficult, from be to one
country, well, the economy is better to a different country where it's hard
to get the food in the table.
Sergio: Yeah.
Roberto: And well you know I'll give it another try. I would like to go to
the States, things have changed. I would like to visit, I would love to
study. It will be nice studying over there. But I always say that Mexico is
always going to be a country where you have things in legendary mode. If
you were playing like a video game, and you put it in hard mode or in
legendary mode. You'll get stuff, but you have to work for it, like really,
really, really hard. And in this case in the United States, well, I think
you have it more easier, a little bit more easy. So if you're successful
here in Mexico, I think in the States you can be a badass. Yeah, that's
what I always think.
Sergio: You play video games?
Roberto: Yeah, I like video games.
Sergio: It sounds like you play Halo.
Roberto: Halo, yeah I used to play Halo.
Sergio: So you-
Roberto: I am more PlayStation.
Sergio: Oh okay, I have an Xbox so I play Halo a lot, I like Halo, and
Battlefield.
Roberto: Oh well when they came out, yeah.
Sergio: Was the new ones... I think the new one's going to be announced at
E3.
Roberto: Oh yeah?
Sergio: Oh yes, do you know the E3 Conference?
Roberto: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just-
Sergio: It's happening next week or something. Sorry, what were you saying?
Roberto: Oh yeah yeah. Yeah I used to play just one of the first two of
Halo.
Sergio: That one was my favorite.
Roberto: Yeah, yeah-
Sergio: That was my favorite.
Roberto: ... and you can add two guns. That was pretty dope.
Sergio: So, I'm trying to think. There was another question but I kind
of... Do you still, I know you mentioned like maybe addiction…do you still
struggle with addiction now?
Roberto: Less, yeah, less. I still smoke, I'm still a pothead. But like I
think the problems are less. Because when I was in the States, man it's
hard, and when you know that a 13-year-old kid doing drugs and all that,
think it was pretty hard for my mom.
Sergio: Yeah.
Roberto: But like, well, I think by the time I have learned the good
things, and the bad things. So I think, I always say that if you have
everything on the limit, you should be fine.
Sergio: Okay.
Roberto: Yeah. But when my mom catch me, all that stuff, like it was really
hard. No, there was no trust anymore. And it was, if I wanted it to go this
side, "No, you cannot go because you're going to do your stuff." Yeah it
was difficult. But you know right now, I'm doing fine. I think I've learned
to keep that balance.
Sergio: Okay. Well thank you so much for your time. I think those are all
the questions I have. More might come up later. But what do you think you
would have done if you would've stayed in the States?
Roberto: I don't know. Well, probably end up in jail, get deported, most
likely.
Sergio: You haven't been-
Roberto: Or-
Sergio: ... in jail here?
Roberto: In jail here? Not jail-jail, but yeah, like how do you say?
…[Inaudible 00:23:35]? they just, I was like arguing with a police and that
police got pissed off. He did hit me. [foreign language 00:23:49]. And well
he... is not, how do you say, is not jail-jail. It's like they just keep
you in a room for 37 hours. Three days. Yeah. Luckily, I was like, well, a
day and a half. Yeah.
Sergio: Did they give you food and water, or no?
Roberto: I had to call my family to provide me with that. But nah. Like at
first, yeah, they gave me water, yeah. But then they wanted me to call my
mom in so they can provide me with, I don't know, with my needs. But there
was one time that when I got caught, there was a dude, he was more time
there than me. So he saw that one of the police guys, or the people that
are doing the scripts and the paperwork, they tienen sus garnachas their
tacos, and everything. He was like, "Hey hey, can you give me, I haven't
ate anything. I haven't ate anything." And Se porto buena onda, he gave him
his food. And that was fine, nobody I think wants to give their food to a
fucking criminal. But yeah. Like he didn't ask for... I didn't ask for
water, because I didn't need it.
Sergio: Okay. Okay, but yeah, thanks for your time, again. I appreciate it,
Roberto.
Roberto: Yeah, it was a pleasure.
